If you inherit a house in the woods, consider talking to a real estate agent before moving sight unseen.
That鈥檚 the lesson we learn from 鈥淲olf Man,鈥 a misguided remake of a Universal horror classic.
Christopher Abbott stars as the lucky son 鈥 a down-on-his-luck creator who gets the keys to his dad鈥檚 home and encourages his successful wife (Julia Garner) to pack up the house and head to some wooded area where even the locals don鈥檛 go.
Once there, the newcomers have to ask a wandering man where their house is. He shows them, then joins them in learning the reason this isn鈥檛 a hot property: Some wild creature is lurking.
A girl is frightened by what she sees in "Wolf Man."聽
A close encounter alters the husband鈥檚 DNA and soon he鈥檚 losing teeth and exhibiting feral behavior. This prompts the wife to grab her daughter and a huge kitchen knife and try to make it to a vehicle. (Don鈥檛 ask.) Naturally, it needs a jump, so she pulls out a battery and begins the process.
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The "Wolf Man" poster.聽
When聽the beast comes calling, there鈥檚 a silly chase around the property that also involves a greenhouse with the flimsiest plastic cover. The family heads up there and the daughter almost falls through (never mind the folks are much heavier). Meanwhile, the van is teetering on a hill and a noise starts emanating from all corners of the 鈥渘ew鈥 home.
The film鈥檚 sound effects are good 鈥 and eerie. The music isn鈥檛 bad, either. But the script looks like something that a first-time filmmaker might have tried. Sadly, even the knife gets ignored.
Directed by Leigh Whannell, 鈥淲olf Man鈥 is shot in so much darkness it鈥檚 hard to get all the intended chills.
As the cat-and-wolf game heats up, it becomes clear no one 鈥 not even the daughter 鈥 has complained about not eating. After racing around that dreadful house (one the younger version of the husband seemed to hate), no one even regrets the move. Considering the family could have turned this over to a realtor, much angst could have been avoided.
Still, that鈥檚 not the purpose. 鈥淲olf Man鈥 is here to point out a grisly beast could lie in all of us. We just need a few altering moments to let it go.
Abbott does what he can with a role only Demi Moore could love; Garner looks like she didn鈥檛 win three Emmys for playing a nuanced character in 鈥淥zark.鈥
Even the beast seems a little sheepish. And that鈥檚 where Whannell could have made improvements. If you鈥檙e going to rehab an old movie franchise, at least invest in a coat of paint.
